for Wanderer

[notsocommon]

Helen had promised to spend a little more time talking one on one with Wanderer when there weren't the concerns of arrival or the bustle of a party to contend with and she'd settled for having tea with her on a Saturday afternoon. She'd brought Gregory along, of course, because she hated to saddle Will with him when she was unoccupied and it seemed that Wanderer had been fond of the baby; Helen was always pleased with people who were interested in her son.

She was a bit early, so she'd snuggled Gregory in his sling across her chest and gone to boil the water for tea, hoping to at least have that done before Wanderer turned up in the kitchen. Whether or not they'd stay in the Compound was up to her - Helen hardly had an opinion - but this part would need to start here.

When she heard a noise behind her, she turned slightly. "Just getting a few things ready for us. Did you want anything in particular?"

Comments

[tenthlife]

"I've met two people that are here from the same place, so I suppose it's possible," I responded, not daring to even dream it. "And yes, this is a different body, but there's no sign of the original human mind here. Just me." I sniffed back the lonliness that was still just at the surface. "I'm guessing that the former host, Pet, had been here for a long time, or the host body was young when she was inserted. Whichever it was, there's no resistant mind."

I was quiet for a moment, thinking about what could have possibly happened after...after Doc removed me. "It wasn't supposed to happen."

[notsocommon]

"What wasn't? Coming to inhabit this particular body?"

The idea of a body being completely blank and devoid of a personality was somewhat fascinating and in that way, Helen could see the relationship between Soul and host as something beneficial to both - if the Soul needed the body but the mind were gone, like with a coma patient, it wasn't inherently a bad thing. Then again, she didn't think it was a bad thing anyway because all species change and adapt in ways best suited to their particular challenges.

[tenthlife]

I nodded, trying to put words to my memories of those last moments in the caves. "I was tired of being a parasite, tired of living my life at the expense of others. When I decided...to give Melanie back, to leave so she wouldn't be imprisoned in my mind, it was with the intention of not coming back. Dying." I finished and had to take a breath to calm the erratic emotions.

"I asked Doc to bury me with my friends, to not put me in a cryotank. I didn't want to go to another planet, another life. I wanted to stay on Earth, be buried with my friends."

[notsocommon]

"And yet your friends made the decision to put you into this body instead," Helen said, smiling softly. She could see why. Wanderer seemed a gentle, loving person and incredibly self-sacrificing and altruistic. It seemed at odds with her species' preferred method of propagation and colonization.

"I must say, I'm grateful, because otherwise we'd never have met. I've never encountered a species like yours before."

[tenthlife]

The way she said that, it wasn't the first time I'd wondered just what Helen had encountered. "I still don't know how to feel about it. I'm not...there's no one else in here, but I'd made my decision to leave, resigned myself to it. Said goodbye to...to everyone. It's oddly disconcerting to be living a life I never expected. Just for my own curiosity, have you seen many other species?"

[notsocommon]

"Oh, a great many. That's what I did before I came to the island. I ran a sanctuary for exotic and misunderstood species that were either too dangerous to integrate among society or too easily harmed. I wasn't..."

Helen sipped at her tea, trying to think of how best to explain it. "I started out as human but through experimentation I became functionally immortal. Certainly, if I'd been shot and bled out I would have died but my healing factor kept me from most diseases and injury. I am 162 years old as of last August."

[tenthlife]

While I already knew that most here came from versions of the world that didn't match my own, I'd thought that Helen might not be. Now I knew differently. The species she'd met could exist off of their home planets, clearly. None of the ones we encountered could, except the spiders.

I smiled a little. "I guess there's no way any healer can guard against accidents or dangers like that, no matter where you come from. That's the only way we can die as well, other than if we give ourselves as mothers or, just choose to not move on when the host body dies."

[notsocommon]

"How does your reproduction work?"

She felt like she was possibly being rude, asking so many questions, but it had been a long time since she'd encountered a new species and she was as wide-eyed about it as she'd been about any Abnormal back home.

[tenthlife]

It most certainly wasn't the time for it, but I laughed just the same. I'd been asked the same thing when I had my little 'I am female' tantrum in Doc's hospital.

"It's relatively simple, all things considered," I replied at last, looking at the baby in Helen's arms. "There are very few of us with the potential to become mothers. One for every thousand, or something like that. Once the decision is made, the mother divides herself. Every cell becomes a new life and carries with it the mother's memories, so information isn't lost between generations."

[notsocommon]

"And is there some sort of shared genetic memory among all of your people? I hesitate to say hive mind, because that sounds derogatory, and I don't mean to be. Sometimes I find that the English language doesn't have nearly as delicate terms as I want to use for such questions."

The last thing Helen wanted was to offend Wanderer when she was being so forthright with her. "Perhaps I didn't mention this earlier but if there's ever anything I ask you that you don't want to answer, please simply tell me. My questions are merely for curiosity's sake, for wanting to learn about something beautiful and unique, and I don't mean to offend you."

[tenthlife]

I'd found the island's version of Doc and Jeb, rolled into one person. I gave a little smile and a shake of my head. "You remind me of someone from the caves. Jeb. He was curious to the point he drove me hoarse with questions. Wanting to know about me, about us, about where we'd been, everything. Then he, and others, started asking at mealtimes and it sort of became my job. To tell the others stories about us, so I suppose you could say that I'm used to the questions, and the curiosity."

I took a sip from my mug, set it down again. "Not among all of us, the memory thing. But we all remember what our mothers remember, and their mothers, and their mothers, and on it goes. So I guess there is some cross over, but they're dim recollections. Not photographic memories."

[notsocommon]

"I honestly could listen to you talk about what you are and where you came from from now until eternity, provided Gregory behaved for me," Helen said, laughing a bit.

Gregory, for his part, was awake and blinking a little at her. He had gotten a little better at focusing of late and Helen was reasonably sure he'd started recognizing people.

"Now, when you colonize...do you prefer adults or juveniles?"

[tenthlife]

"Once Earth was settled, it went to preference. Some, like me, chose a mature host; some preferred staring younger, for a longer life term. In the first waves, I'm not sure. I've always chosen planets that are more or less completely settled. For the other places," I said, and shrugged, "there isn't quite the delineation between the two."

[notsocommon]

"I can't imagine how many amazing lives you must have had," Helen said, face alight with a little smile.

"And yet now you're here in this human body. I cannot fathom what that must be like."

[tenthlife]

"Ten," I said softly. "This is my tenth life. And of all of them, being human is the most difficult of them all. And not just because I had a resistant host at first. The emotions. They're so strong and...overwhelming at times. It was nothing I was prepared for."

[notsocommon]

"And here I've spent most of my life trying not to have any emotions," Helen said, only half-joking. "I've mellowed somewhat since coming here. My husband has helped a great deal with that."

[tenthlife]

"There were days I wanted nothing more than to turn them off, to have one day's peace," I said, smiling. "But a lot of that was Melanie's fault. In the beginning she played on that a lot, my inability to control them. She was very manipulative," I finished fondly.

[notsocommon]

"I think I should like to meet her, the woman who changed your mind about our entire species."

It seemed like this Melanie was a fine example of the human spirit, at the very least. Gregory started fussing a little, soft little cries, and Helen tried her best to soothe him.

"There, there. Don't you fret, little one, Mummy's just having a talk with a friend."

[tenthlife]

"I would love it if you could," I said honestly, because that would mean she was here. I refused to let myself think that way because I didn't want to get mired in hopes that might never come to pass.

My eyes went to the baby when he fussed, searching his little face. "He's grown since the first time I saw him. Just a little big bigger."

[notsocommon]

"They put on weight rapidly during this portion of development," Helen agreed. It was a bit scientific, yes, but those were the terms she would want if this were a new species to her.

"Would you like to hold him? He's comfortable enough with you now that I don't think he'd cry out."

[tenthlife]

I'd always been curious. Of course I had been. Hadn't I spent millenia travelling the universe to experience it? The idea of seeing the small human up close had my hands raising almost of their own volition. It was like having Melanie in control again.

"You don't think it would frighten him?" I asked. "My eyes...?"

[notsocommon]

"He's got no frame of reference for that, I don't know why they would," Helen said, shrugging a bit.

"For him, it's just another eye color. He may not even be able to really differentiate them yet. It's your face that he'll be focused on, and the feel of you holding him, and he's really too young to be frightened by strangers just yet. I think he'll be just fine."

[tenthlife]

"You'll stay close?" I asked, fear in my voice almost palpable. I could still hear the Healer's host's reaction to my eyes when she'd awakened finally from wherever she'd been while Summer Song had been in control. Even with those fears, I did want to hold the baby. More than I thought I should.

[notsocommon]

"Of course. I wouldn't just throw you to the wolves," Helen promised, laughing lightly. "You'll want to cradle him in your arms in such a way as to support his neck," she explained, gently lifting Gregory and helping transition him from one set of arms to the other.

"I promise you won't break him."

[tenthlife]

I remember watching the mother in the park, with Ian and Jared behind me. That baby had been older, but I'd seen the mother cradle her human child the same way Helen did now. I moved my arms in the same motion, like I was already holding him...and then I was.

I made a sound that was more startled than humor. "He's heavier than I expected."